TAMIL FUNERAL PROCESS – MARRIED MAN
INTRODUCTION
Hindus generally observe many rites throughout their lives. However in this age of rapid changes, many have forgotten some of the rites. Many are also at a loss when confronted with a situation, which necessitates the observance of some of these rites. The last rites performed for the departed souls of those near and dear to us are the most important rites that have to be performed for the peaceful transmigration of the soul to reach the lotus feet of the Lord. Many of us are not aware of or do not know what has to be done when a sudden death takes place in the family.
FUNERAL POLICY/FINANCIAL PROVISION
Funerals are very costly and as no one knows when such an event will occur we always find ourselves in a financial dilemma when a death occurs in the family. These days many Funeral Homes offer a very affordable range of Funeral Policies were-in the undertakers, immediately on notification of a death will do the following: This saves the family the run around during this mournful period.
Removal and storage of the body
Acquire the Death certificate
Arrange for the burial ground and/or crematorium
Cancellation of the Identity document and in certain cases the deceased Govt. pension or grant.
Assist the family with the bathing and dressing of the body.
Provide the coffin/casket as per the family's choice.
Transport the Body to the home/hall and burial ground or crematorium.
Provide a family car for the members of the family.
Balance of monies after all costs is given to the nominated Beneficiary for use in carrying out the necessary rituals after the funeral.
NOTE:
Choose a Policy that will be affordable and also will cater financially for the Funeral, Odd day Thiti Prayers, 15th/16th day Ceremony, all odd month thithis up to and including the 11th month final Annual Ceremony.
FUNERAL ACTION TO BE TAKEN BY FAMILY
DEATH AT HOME
When a person is pronounced dead, the following formalities have to be attended to. Obtain the death certificate from the appropriate authorities. Follow the standard procedure in obtaining such a certificate. The nearest Police Station may also be approached for assistance.
Call the Paramedics – They will certify the death and provide you with a Document confirming the Death.
Nominate 1 Family member or a team to co-ordinate all arrangements
Arrange for the removal and storage of the body with the Undertakers.
Hand document confirming death, deceased Identity Document to the Undertakers, Arrange with the Undertakers for the funeral i.e. Date, Time, burial or cremation.
Check with your priest on Time of death and if any specific ritual is required over and above the normal funeral rituals, Time to bring body to Home/hall and Time to remove body for burial/cremation. Also check date for 15th/16th day ceremony. Arrange for Priest to perform funeral rites, get funeral rites list.
Inform family, relatives, community and friends of the funeral.
Arrange for venue for Body to lie in State, flowers, service group, etc.
DEATH IN HOSPITAL
Inform undertakers – they will liase with the hospital and then the above Action steps 2 to 7 needs to be followed. Same would apply in cases of Death outside the Home such as murder, accidents etc.
MARRIED MAN – FUNERAL PROCESS
FUNERAL LIST
3 KINDS OIL – SESAMAE, SWEET & MUSTARD OILS
SEEKA
GROUND GREEN MOONG DHALL
COCONUTS X 3 [1 FOR WHEN HEARSE ARRIVES, 1 FOR GANESHA AND 1 FOR KANGANAM –COFFIN]
1 BOX CAMPHOR
DECEASED'S WIFE'S BROTHER OR BROTHER – IN – LAW TO BUY A PLAIN SARIE IN COLOUR
DECEASED'S BROTHER OR COUSIN BROTHER TO BUY A PLAIN WHITE SARIE
3MT WHITE CALICO CLOTH OR DHOTI FOR THE PERSON DOING THE "KOLI" LAST RITES
OPEN GARLANDS X 2
250GRAM TURMERIC POWDER
AVAL KADELE
2 BLOCK SANDHANAM GROUND
1 PKT ASH
KUNK KUM
GATHAM PODI
TURMERIC STICKS X 3
1 X REEL WHITE STRING
100GRAM WHITE UNCOOKED RICE
1 SMALL TUB GHEE
INCENCE STICKS
CLAY POT X 3 [ONE WITH LID FOR COLLECTION OF ASHES] + ¼ MT WHITE CLOTH [FOR EXCESS ASH]
2LT MILK
ROSE WATER
5 X BEETLE LEAVES AND BEETLE NUT [3 FOR GANESHA, I FOR CAN OF RICE AND 1 FOR HARICHANDRA]
3 KINDS FRUIT [FOR VENUE AND CREMATORIUM/CEMETRY – HARICHANDRA PRAYER]
MANGO LEAVES AND MANGO STICKS [HAVAN WOOD] + SANDAL WOOD
COUNT NUMBER OF CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN AND GREAT GRAND CHILDREN – CUT STRIPS OF STICKS ABOUT 15CM – TIE STRIPS OF WHITE CLOTH ON ONE END AND DIP IN GHEE – PLACE IN CLAY POT. NOTE: NO ONE ELSE TO CARRY THESE STICKS – IN ABSENCE OF THE MENTIONED GENERATIONS – THE DECEASED'S BROTHER'S GENERATIONS OR ANYONE OF SIMILAR RELATIONSHIP MAY DO THIS RITE.
THE DAUGHTER – IN – LAW [ IN ABSENCE DECEASED'S SISTER'S DAUGHTER] MUST WEAR AN OPEN MARIGOLD GARLAND AROUND HER NECK AND A SARIE AND PREPARE DHALL RICE KICHIDI FOR THE HARICHANDRA PRAYER – WHEN DONE FILL THIS FOOD INTO ONE OF THE CLAY POTS – REMOVE GARLAND AND PUT ON A TREE.
AT HOME/VENUE
Set a small table with the God Lamp – 2 x Kuthu Villaku – flowers in vase, milk and fruits, clay pot with Ghee Sticks, camphor, Deepa koluso, light incence sticks
Prepare tray with ground sandhanam, kun kum, gatham podi and rose water Sprinkler for Nelungu.
Prepare Ganesha with turmeric , set 3 beetle leaves as a 3 leaf clover, 3 beetle nut, 3 silver coins, 3 flowers and aval kadele.
Keep the two open garlands, saries in a tray
Prepare 3 kanganum with turmeric sticks tied with white cotton.
Keep a tray with petals – for turning for the Deceased - to be placed on coffin
MOTUARY - REQUIREMENTS
The son [person doing the koli – last rites and the Deceased's Brother and brother – in – law must go to the mortuary to do the bathing rites.
Take the seeka, ground moong Dhall and the 3 kinds of oil [Seeka and moong dhall is representative of attachment whilst the 3 kinds of oil represent detachment from the 3 miseries of the world – ill health, evil actions, depressed emotions] [keep some seeka and moong for crematorium]
Make a brush with running grass {the grass is symbolic of Ganesha brushing away all impurities of the body in preparation for the body to be accepted by Agni – God of fire and Mother earth}
Take a litre of turmeric water, a litre of sea/salt water, a bottle of Ganga water
Soap, Shaving Kit, Perfume
The clothes for the Deceased – NO SHOES or LEATHER
PROCESS TO BATHING THE BODY
The Undertakers will place the body onto a washing bed, the person doing the koli and the other two men must first perform the cleansing ritual. Using the right hand each one has a turn to rub the seeka from the top of the forehead to the crown of the head, then do the same with the ground moong, thereafter using the grass brush – brush the 3 kinds of mixed oil in the same way. During this process which is done 1 time with each item by each individual – recite the following mantra:
OM GUM GUM GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
OM GUM GUM SIDDHI GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
OM GUM GUM BUDDHI GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
Now the body can be washed and dressed with the assistance of the Undertakers. The family members may then return home and wait for the arrival of the Body [According to time given by Priest]
ARRIVAL OF THE HEARSE WITH THE DECEASED
When the body arrives – the priest and the Person doing the Koli [ must be dressed in a white dhoti or wrap a white cloth] together with Pall Bearers go to the Hearse and pull the coffin out a bit [not completely out ] The priest to chant the Name of Lord Shiva, light a camphor on a coconut, turn it 3 times clockwise and smashes it to the ground – [this signifies the release of Ganga by Lord Shiva to prepare for the accepting of the forthcoming rituals and the final remains of Deceased once cremated]
The Chant
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA – SHIVAYA NAMAH OM
SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM – OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
The Priest continues with the chant whilst the Pall Bearers remove the coffin – Head first and take it to the area where it would lie in state.
RITUAL – PROCESS
The Koli person must turn camphor at the foot of the coffin – 3 times clockwise, sprinkle water onto the coffin and then open the lid to view the face.
The wife must be seated to the right of the deceased close to the head side.
The wife's brother must come behind her and without looking at her face put the sarie he bought over her shoulders from the back.
A married lady must then hold the wife's head close to the head of the deceased and sprinkle some water over their heads , then the wife must be taken to the bathroom to have a bath and then dress in the sarie her brother gave her. She then returns to her seat next to the coffin.
The koli person must then offer prayers to Ganesha with the milk and fruits and turn and break the coconut.
The tray with the following must be placed on the coffin: 2 x garlands,sandhnum, kun kum, gatham podi, allo water and 2 x kanganum. The third kanganum must be tied around a coconut and must be placed in the wife's mundhani held with both her hands.
The deceased's brother must now put a sarie over the wife's shoulders from behind her without looking at her face, and also put one garland for her and one for the deceased.
Then 3 Married ladies must tie 1 x kanganum on the wife's right wrist and the other one to be placed in the coffin on the deceased's right hand.
The 3 married ladies must now individually do Nelungu - first for the body and then for the wife.
The 3 married ladies must then exchange the garlands – from the wife to the Deceased and vice versa.
After the Nelungu process – take the brass can with raw white rice, place the turmeric ball on a beetle leaf, clean the God Lamp of oil and place it on the turmeric Ball facing backwards.
The koli person must stand at the foot of the coffin, the wife's brother must now hold the lamp with the brass can of rice, beetle leaf, turmeric ball over the koli persons right shoulder, and followed by the wife they go around the coffin 3 times in a clockwise direction, with a married lady sprinkling water in front of the koli person –with the wife being followed by the children and grandchildren holding the Ghee Sticks.
When the third round is finished, the turmeric ball must be placed in the koli persons right hand [with his back to the coffin] – he must be helped to touch the foot of the coffin. Then take him inside the house and place the turmeric ball by the prayer place. [The turmeric ball is symbolic of purification of the earth and water for acceptance of the final remains of the deceased by Mother Earth and Mother Ganga]
The wife must open the kanganum and together with the coconut put it into the coffin by the right hand side [this is symbolic of releasing the Athma and body to Lord Shiva and Mother Shakti.
Have a can of milk with a mango leaf on the coffin and a tray of broken flower petals. Immediate family members must go and put a drop of milk to the inside of the coffin.
This concludes the Rituals – Now the public may go to view the body, taking a little petals and turning it for the deceased and placing it in the coffin – symbolic of a final farewell.
SERVICE
During the viewing – Songs to Ganesha and Shiva ie Thevarum should be sung or played until the final departure from the venue. In between Tributes may be delivered [pre arrange with the Master of Ceremonies]
REQUIREMENTS FOR CREMATORIUM
Hawan kund. Hawan sticks and hawan samagri
Seeka, moong and sweet oil
1 lt milk [for clay pot]
1 pint milk for Harichandra and 1 x small mass
The clay pot with the pongal rice
Clay pot with Ghee sticks – to be carried by the koli person.
Fruits and flowers
ARRIVAL AT CREMATORIUM
The Pall Bearers remove the coffin – Head first and take it to the Harichandra platform, the priest will chant :
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA – SHIVAYA NAMAH OM
SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM – OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
As per the Hindu Tradition, after the death of a human being , the Body will be placed in front of the Harishchandra and the Poojas and Abhishekhams(Prayer rituals) will be conducted to Sathya Harishchandra, and then after getting the permission from Harishchandra, then only the body will be cremated or buried. Hence, The Sathya Harishchandra is the Authorized earthly representative of Lord Yama and He only desires the status of departed soles after the death whether to send the sole to Naraha Loga(hell) or Sorga Loga,(salvation) based on the deeds experienced by the departed sole over the earth during the lived period.
PROCESS
The coffin is placed in front of the Harichandra stone/statue.
Priest asks the Koli person to do the abhishekham – first wash harichandra with water, then seeka, moong, oil, maas, milk and finish with water.
The Shiva patta [3 white stripes with ashes and a kun kum dot] is applied.
Flowers are placed at the stone.
A banana leave is placed – the pongal food is put onto the leaf with the fruits and milk.
The close family members – with the koli person in the lead will walk around the coffin in a clockwise direction [the priest will sing a Thevarum Hymn] and then at foot of the coffin they will offer aarathi.
The Pall Bearers will then take the coffin and proceed [head first] to the crematorium platform – as the Priest and family chant to Lord Shiva.
CREMATORIUM PLATFORM
Here the deceased will lie in state for viewing prior to the actual cremation, service may continue and speakers may render tributes. An announcement will be made confirming the date and time of the 15th/16th day ceremony and an invitation will be extended to the public.
The coffin will then be rolled into the furnace area – The koli person and immediate family members will enter this area for the final rituals.
The priest will do a small Hawan to Lord Shiva and Agni [God of Fire]
The Deceased's Brother-in-law will then hold a clay pot of milk on the left shoulder of the koli person as he walks around the coffin from the head – the brother-in-law must sprinkle milk on all 4 corners and at the foot of the coffin – then once they reach the head – he must lead the koli person outside and with the the koli persons back to him – he must break the pot of milk on the ground.
They then return to the furnace room – the koli person is to take the contents of the hawan kund and drop it onto the stomach area of the Deceased. Put the Sandal wood and Ghee sticks into the coffin.
All to Hail Lord Shiva – " HAR HAR MAHA DEVA, HAR HAR MAHA DEVA, HAR HAR MAHADEV" and pudh the coffin into the furnace.
A meter of white cloth is placed at the crematorium entrance – this is for the mourners to give alms in form of cash for the person doing the cremation.
They all return home –
First they are to sprinkle water 3 times over their head [to remove the shadow of death], then go in to the house and offer aarathi to the lamp and take an ash dot.
COLLECTION AND DISPOSING OF ASHES
The deceased's ashes is usually ready for collection about 1 ½ hours later. A few family members accompany the koli person to collect the ashes. They then proceed to the river where there is running water. A pint of milk and a pint of Ganga Jal must be poured into the clay pot and cloth containing the ashes – Then in one swift movement the ashes must be thrown as far in - into the river. Recite the following mantra 3 times before you let the ashes go. "Om Guru Data"
THIS CONCLUDES THE FUNERAL PROCESS
The Koli person, sons, son-in-laws, brother-in- laws and brothers of the deceased are to remain unshaven and must maintain a strict vegetarian and alcohol free fast up until the 16th day.
TAMIL FUNERAL PROCESS – MARRIED WOMAN
INTRODUCTION
Hindus generally observe many rites throughout their lives. However in this age of rapid changes, many have forgotten some of the rites. Many are also at a loss when confronted with a situation, which necessitates the observance of some of these rites. The last rites performed for the departed souls of those near and dear to us are the most important rites that have to be performed for the peaceful transmigration of the soul to reach the lotus feet of the Lord. Many of us are not aware of or do not know what has to be done when a sudden death takes place in the family.
FUNERAL POLICY/FINANCIAL PROVISION
Funerals are very costly and as no one knows when such an event will occur we always find ourselves in a financial dilemma when a death occurs in the family. These days many Funeral Homes offer a very affordable range of Funeral Policies were-in the undertakers, immediately on notification of a death will do the following: This saves the family the run around during this mournful period.
Removal and storage of the body
Acquire the Death certificate
Arrange for the burial ground and/or crematorium
Cancellation of the Identity document and in certain cases the deceased Govt. pension or grant.
Assist the family with the bathing and dressing of the body.
Provide the coffin/casket as per the family's choice.
Transport the Body to the home/hall and burial ground or crematorium.
Provide a family car for the members of the family.
Balance of monies after all costs is given to the nominated Beneficiary for use in carrying out the necessary rituals after the funeral.
NOTE:
Choose a Policy that will be affordable and also will cater financially for the Funeral, Odd day Thiti Prayers, 15th/16th day Ceremony, all odd month thithis up to and including the 11th month final Annual Ceremony.
FUNERAL ACTION TO BE TAKEN BY FAMILY
DEATH AT HOME
When a person is pronounced dead, the following formalities have to be attended to. Obtain the death certificate from the appropriate authorities. Follow the standard procedure in obtaining such a certificate. The nearest Police Station may also be approached for assistance.
Call the Paramedics – They will certify the death and provide you with a Document confirming the Death.
Nominate 1 Family member or a team to co-ordinate all arrangements
Arrange for the removal and storage of the body with the Undertakers.
Hand document confirming death, deceased Identity Document to the Undertakers, Arrange with the Undertakers for the funeral i.e. Date, Time, burial or cremation.
Check with your priest on Time of death and if any specific ritual is required over and above the normal funeral rituals, Time to bring body to Home/hall and Time to remove body for burial/cremation. Also check date for 15th/16th day ceremony. Arrange for Priest to perform funeral rites, get funeral rites list.
Inform family, relatives, community and friends of the funeral.
Arrange for venue for Body to lie in State, flowers, service group, etc.
DEATH IN HOSPITAL
Inform undertakers – they will liase with the hospital and then the above Action steps 2 to 7 needs to be followed. Same would apply in cases of Death outside the Home such as murder, accidents etc.
MARRIED WOMAN– FUNERAL PROCESS
FUNERAL LIST
3 KINDS OIL – SESAMAE, SWEET & MUSTARD OILS
SEEKA
GROUND GREEN MOONG DHALL
COCONUTS X 3 [1 FOR WHEN HEARSE ARRIVES, 1 FOR GANESHA AND 1 FOR KANGANAM –COFFIN]
1 BOX CAMPHOR
DECEASED'S HUSBAND'S BROTHER – IN – LAW TO BUY A PLAIN SHIRT AND PANTS IN COLOUR
DECEASED'S BROTHER OR COUSIN BROTHER TO BUY A PLAIN WHITE SHIRT & PANTS
3MT WHITE CALICO CLOTH OR DHOTI FOR THE PERSON DOING THE "KOLI" LAST RITES
OPEN GARLANDS X 2
250GRAM TURMERIC POWDER
AVAL KADELE
2 BLOCK SANDHANAM GROUND
1 PKT ASH
KUNK KUM
GATHAM PODI
TURMERIC STICKS X 3
1 X REEL WHITE STRING
100GRAM WHITE UNCOOKED RICE
1 SMALL TUB GHEE
INCENCE STICKS
CLAY POT X 3 [ONE WITH LID FOR COLLECTION OF ASHES] + ¼ MT WHITE CLOTH [FOR EXCESS ASH]
2LT MILK
ROSE WATER
5 X BEETLE LEAVES AND BEETLE NUT [3 FOR GANESHA, I FOR CAN OF RICE AND 1 FOR HARICHANDRA]
3 KINDS FRUIT [FOR VENUE AND CREMATORIUM/CEMETRY – HARICHANDRA PRAYER]
MANGO LEAVES AND MANGO STICKS [HAVAN WOOD] + SANDAL WOOD
COUNT NUMBER OF CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN AND GREAT GRAND CHILDREN – CUT STRIPS OF STICKS ABOUT 15CM – TIE STRIPS OF WHITE CLOTH ON ONE END AND DIP IN GHEE – PLACE IN CLAY POT. NOTE: NO ONE ELSE TO CARRY THESE STICKS – IN ABSENCE OF THE MENTIONED GENERATIONS – THE DECEASED'S BROTHER'S GENERATIONS OR ANYONE OF SIMILAR RELATIONSHIP MAY DO THIS RITE.
THE DAUGHTER – IN – LAW [ IN ABSENCE DECEASED'S SISTER'S DAUGHTER] MUST WEAR AN OPEN MARIGOLD GARLAND AROUND HER NECK AND A SARIE AND PREPARE DHALL RICE KICHIDI FOR THE HARICHANDRA PRAYER – WHEN DONE FILL THIS FOOD INTO ONE OF THE CLAY POTS – REMOVE GARLAND AND PUT ON A TREE.
AT HOME/VENUE
Set a small table with the God Lamp – 2 x Kuthu Villaku – flowers in vase, milk and fruits, clay pot with Ghee Sticks, camphor, Deepa koluso, light incence sticks
Prepare tray with ground sandhanam, kun kum, gatham podi and rose water Sprinkler for Nelungu.
Prepare Ganesha with turmeric , set 3 beetle leaves as a 3 leaf clover, 3 beetle nut, 3 silver coins, 3 flowers and aval kadele.
Keep the two open garlands, saries in a tray
Prepare 3 kanganum with turmeric sticks tied with white cotton.
Keep a tray with petals – for turning for the Deceased - to be placed on coffin
MOTUARY - REQUIREMENTS
The son [person doing the koli – last rites and the Deceased's Sister and Sister– in – law must go to the mortuary to do the bathing rites. Daughters may also go to assist.
Take the seeka, ground moong Dhall and the 3 kinds of oil [Seeka and moong dhall is representative of attachment whilst the 3 kinds of oil represent detachment from the 3 miseries of the world – ill health, evil actions, depressed emotions] [keep some seeka and moong for crematorium]
Make a brush with running grass {the grass is symbolic of Ganesha brushing away all impurities of the body in preparation for the body to be accepted by Agni – God of fire and Mother earth}
Take a litre of turmeric water, a litre of sea/salt water, a bottle of Ganga water
Soap, hair kit, Perfume, make up, A sheet to cover the body.
The clothes for the Deceased – NO SHOES or LEATHER
PROCESS TO BATHING THE BODY
The Undertakers will place the body onto a washing bed,[cover the body with a sheet from the neck down – the koli person MUST not see his mother nude] the person doing the koli and the other two women must first perform the cleansing ritual. Using the right hand each one has a turn to rub the seeka from the top of the forehead to the crown of the head, then do the same with the ground moong, thereafter using the grass brush – brush the 3 kinds of mixed oil in the same way. During this process which is done 1 time with each item by each individual – recite the following mantra:
OM GUM GUM GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
OM GUM GUM SIDDHI GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
OM GUM GUM BUDDHI GANAPATHIYE NAMAH
Now the son may wait outside and the ladies can wash the body and dress the body with the assistance of the Undertakers. The family members may then return home and wait for the arrival of the Body [According to time given by Priest]
ARRIVAL OF THE HEARSE WITH THE DECEASED
When the body arrives – the priest and the Person doing the Koli [ must be dressed in a white dhoti or wrap a white cloth] together with Pall Bearers go to the Hearse and pull the coffin out a bit [not completely out ] The priest to chant the Name of Lord Shiva, light a camphor on a coconut, turn it 3 times clockwise and smashes it to the ground – [this signifies the release of Ganga by Lord Shiva to prepare for the accepting of the forthcoming rituals and the final remains of Deceased once cremated]
The Chant
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA – SHIVAYA NAMAH OM
SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM – OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
The Priest continues with the chant whilst the Pall Bearers remove the coffin – Head first and take it to the area where it would lie in state.
RITUAL – PROCESS
The Koli person must turn camphor at the foot of the coffin – 3 times clockwise, sprinkle water onto the coffin and then open the lid to view the face.
The husband must be seated to the right of the deceased close to the head side.
The husband 's brother must come behind him and without looking at his face put the shirt and pants he bought over his shoulders from the back .
A married lady must then hold the husband's head close to the head of the deceased and sprinkle some water over their heads , then the husband must be taken to the bathroom to have a bath and then dress in the shirt his brother gave him. He then returns to his seat next to the coffin.
The koli person must then offer prayers to Ganesha with the milk and fruits and turn and break the coconut.
The tray with the following must be placed on the coffin: 2 x garlands,sandhnum, kun kum, gatham podi, allo water and 2 x kanganum. The third kanganum must be tied around a coconut and must be placed in the wife's mundhani held with both her hands.
The deceased's brother must now put a shirt and pants over the husband's shoulders from behind him without looking at his face, and also put one garland for him and one for the deceased.
Then 3 Married ladies must tie 1 x kanganum on the husband's right wrist and the other one to be placed in the coffin on the deceased's right hand.
The 3 married ladies must now individually do Nelungu - first for the body and then for the husband.
The 3 married ladies must then exchange the garlands – from the husband to the Deceased and vice versa.
After the Nelungu process – take the brass can with raw white rice, place the turmeric ball on a beetle leaf, clean the God Lamp of oil and place it on the turmeric Ball facing backwards.
The koli person must stand at the foot of the coffin, the deceased's brother must now hold the lamp with the brass can of rice, beetle leaf, turmeric ball over the koli persons right shoulder, and followed by the husband they go around the coffin 3 times in a clockwise direction, with a married lady sprinkling water in front of the koli person –with the husband being followed by the children and grandchildren holding the Ghee Sticks.
When the third round is finished, the turmeric ball must be placed in the koli persons right hand [with his back to the coffin] – he must be helped to touch the foot of the coffin. Then take him inside the house and place the turmeric ball by the prayer place. [The turmeric ball is symbolic of purification of the earth and water for acceptance of the final remains of the deceased by Mother Earth and Mother Ganga]
The husband must open the kanganum and together with the coconut put it into the coffin by the right hand side [this is symbolic of releasing the Athma and body to Lord Shiva and Mother Shakti.
Have a can of milk with a mango leaf on the coffin and a tray of broken flower petals. Immediate family members must go and put a drop of milk to the inside of the coffin.
This concludes the Rituals – Now the public may go to view the body, taking a little petals and turning it for the deceased and placing it in the coffin – symbolic of a final farewell.
SERVICE
During the viewing – Songs to Ganesha and Shiva ie Thevarum should be sung or played until the final departure from the venue. In between Tributes may be delivered [pre arrange with the Master of Ceremonies]
REQUIREMENTS FOR CREMATORIUM
Hawan kund. Hawan sticks and hawan samagri
Seeka, moong and sweet oil
1 lt milk [for clay pot]
1 pint milk for Harichandra and 1 x small mass
The clay pot with the pongal rice
Clay pot with Ghee sticks – to be carried by the koli person.
Fruits and flowers
ARRIVAL AT CREMATORIUM
The Pall Bearers remove the coffin – Head first and take it to the Harichandra platform, the priest will chant :
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA – SHIVAYA NAMAH OM
SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM, SHIVAYA NAMAH OM – OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
As per the Hindu Tradition, after the death of a human being , the Body will be placed in front of the Harishchandra and the Poojas and Abhishekhams(Prayer rituals) will be conducted to Sathya Harishchandra, and then after getting the permission from Harishchandra, then only the body will be cremated or buried. Hence, The Sathya Harishchandra is the Authorized earthly representative of Lord Yama and He only desires the status of departed soles after the death whether to send the sole to Naraha Loga(hell) or Sorga Loga,(salvation) based on the deeds experienced by the departed sole over the earth during the lived period.
PROCESS
The coffin is placed in front of the Harichandra stone/statue.
Priest asks the Koli person to do the abhishekham – first wash harichandra with water, then seeka, moong, oil, maas, milk and finish with water.
The Shiva patta [3 white stripes with ashes and a kun kum dot] is applied.
Flowers are placed at the stone.
A banana leave is placed – the pongal food is put onto the leaf with the fruits and milk.
The close family members – with the koli person in the lead will walk around the coffin in a clockwise direction [the priest will sing a Thevarum Hymn] and then at foot of the coffin they will offer aarathi.
The Pall Bearers will then take the coffin and proceed [head first] to the crematorium platform – as the Priest and family chant to Lord Shiva.
CREMATORIUM PLATFORM
Here the deceased will lie in state for viewing prior to the actual cremation, service may continue and speakers may render tributes. An announcement will be made confirming the date and time of the 15th/16th day ceremony and an invitation will be extended to the public.
The coffin will then be rolled into the furnace area – The koli person and immediate family members will enter this area for the final rituals.
The priest will do a small Hawan to Lord Shiva and Agni [God of Fire]
The Deceased's Brother will then hold a clay pot of milk on the left shoulder of the koli person as he walks around the coffin from the head – the brother-in-law must sprinkle milk on all 4 corners and at the foot of the coffin – then once they reach the head – he must lead the koli person outside and with the the koli persons back to him – he must break the pot of milk on the ground.
They then return to the furnace room – the koli person is to take the contents of the hawan kund and drop it onto the stomach area of the Deceased. Put the Sandal wood and Ghee sticks into the coffin.
All to Hail Lord Shiva – " HAR HAR MAHA DEVA, HAR HAR MAHA DEVA, HAR HAR MAHADEV" and pudh the coffin into the furnace.
A meter of white cloth is placed at the crematorium entrance – this is for the mourners to give alms in form of cash for the person doing the cremation.
They all return home –
First they are to sprinkle water 3 times over their head [to remove the shadow of death], then go in to the house and offer aarathi to the lamp and take an ash dot.
COLLECTION AND DISPOSING OF ASHES
The deceased's ashes is usually ready for collection about 1 ½ hours later. A few family members accompany the koli person to collect the ashes. They then proceed to the river where there is running water. A pint of milk and a pint of Ganga Jal must be poured into the clay pot and cloth containing the ashes – Then in one swift movement the ashes must be thrown as far in - into the river. Recite the following mantra 3 times before you let the ashes go. "Om Guru Data"
THIS CONCLUDES THE FUNERAL PROCESS
The Koli person, sons, son-in-laws, brother-in- laws and brothers of the deceased are to remain unshaven and must maintain a strict vegetarian and alcohol free fast up until the 16th day.
PROCESS FOR SINGLE PERSONS – MALE AND FEMALE
THE EXACT SAME PROCESS AS IS FOR MARRIED PERSONS IS TO BE FOLLOWED WITH THE FOLLOWING CHANGES IN THE RITUAL
No clothes to be bought by brother and brother-in-law.
No nelungu rituals
No exchange of garland rituals
Children and Grand Children to participate with the Ghee Sticks for Grand Parents.
Children to Participate with Ghee Sticks for Parents
Parents, Brothers and sisters to participate with Ghee Sticks for children/siblings
In the case of the deceased being single and has no children – the deceased's father must be the koli person – In the case of the father of the deceased being deceased as well, then the koli person must be the brother or cousin brother.
PROCESS FOR DECEASED CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 16 YEARS
Follow the same process as is for single persons, the only difference is in the Thithis ie. For persons under the age of 16years we do a 11th/12th day ceremony as opposed to the normal 15th/16th day ceremony. Reason being that the journey of the deceased soul's of children embark on their journey on the 12th day as opposed to the souls of adults which embark on the journey on the 16th day.
THITHI
It is essential to try and do the funeral as soon as possible – unnecessary delays are to be avoided, as this will delay the ritual process of the Thithi. Thithi is the 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th, 11th, 13th day prayers continuing into the 15th/16th day ceremony. Thereafter the Thithi rolls out onto 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th, month prayers ending with the 11th month annual ceremony. It is of utmost importance that the Thithi is done as this prayer is not for the deceased, but more for the appeasing of the 16 Saravanas ie. Angels that transport the Soul to it's destination. In the event of the Thithi not being done and/or being short changed in any manner – this will result in the Soul being left on earth as a lost soul. This will have a major negative impact on the family. They will experience difficulties and will be troubled by the lost soul.
PROCESS FOR ODD DAY AND ODD MONTH THITHI
The God lamp must be set on the floor in the prayer area, to the left of the lamp keep about 3 items of clothing of the deceased, flowers to the right. Light incence sticks.
Begin at about 10a.m. with an hour of service – devotional bhajans.
At 11a.m. set a banana leaf and take out vegetarian food, savories and any sweets or snacks that the deceased enjoyed.
The koli person to wear his white dhoti and turn aarthi, thereafter family members may offer aarthi.
Then a little food must be dished into a plate and left in the Garden with a glass of water – The koli person must light 3 piece of camphor and turn aarthi in the garden – this is to summon the Soul to partake of the eats. [ this must be done for all the Thithi / ceremony]
It is customary to then feed the persons that have attended the prayer.
THE 15TH/16TH DAY CEREMONY
THE 15TH DAY – GET LIST FROM BRAHMIN
This ceremony is officiated by a Brahmin – who will perform an hawan, in which the koli person and the deceased's brother and brother-in-law will be included and/or any close relatives. This is usually done in the early morning at about 6a.m. or in the afternoon at about 2p.m.
Thereafter the Yello thaani / Tarpanam is done by the koli person and all immediate family members
The Yello Thaani/ Tarpanam is done by the holding of a beetle leaf, beetle nut, dharbar grass, sesaemae seeds across both palms with the thumbs pressing down on the dhabar grass. The hands are dipped into a dish of water and turned to the left then to the right and then forward and left in the dish – The Brahmin will guide you through this process. This the giving of final release of the Soul from the family bondage.
In the Evening a table is set with flowers, a stairway of 16 lamps [for the 16 Saravanas] and the picture of the deceased with a garland is left covered with a cloth. A service is rendered by a service group for +- a hour. The cloth is then removed from the picture and starting with the Koli person a coconut is turned and broken – aarthi is then offered by all.
This concludes the 15th proceedings and the visitors are fed.
THE 16TH DAY – GET LIST FROM BRAHMIN
The 16th day prayer is done by the river or sea – The Brahmin will officiate the prayer which will involve the koli person, brothers, brother-in-laws, son-in-laws and any close relatives [strictly men only] On the 16th day the priest and the mourners [men only] go to the river or ocean were the priest makes a square box with sand and opens 4 entrances, charcoal [representing a foundation] is lined on the box and then brick dust [representing a building] is lined then the priest offers large pinda (representing the deceased) and three small, representing the father, grandfather and greatgrandfather in the centre of the box and 16 pindas around the borders of the box [for the 16 Saravanas – Angels]. The large ball is cut in three pieces and joined with the small pindas to ritually unite the soul with the ancestors in the next world. The pindas are fed to the birds or thrown in a river for the fish. Once the first sapindikarana is completed, the ritual impurity ends. Odd Monthly repetition is also common for 9 months with the yearly memorial service being done in the eleventh month.
A sugarcane boat bust be made the day before and a clay lamp with ghee and a wick must be kept in this boat. On completion of the prayer at the river the lamp must be lit and first the turmeric ball that was left on the day of the funeral by the prayer place, must be released into the river, then the boat with the lit lamp must be released into the water. The boat becomes a spiritual boat for the Saravanas to transport the Soul in, as opposed to dragging the soul. The sugarcane is to appease them on their journey. Thereafter the men and the koli person must shave off their beards and moustache and have a short haircut as the final respect and rites for the deceased.
16th day – Removal of Thaali for Widow
When the Husband passes away, in accordance with vedic traditions rituals in the form of Thithis are performed every odd day from the third day onwards upto and including the 15th day ceremony. In accordance with the marriage traditions as prescribed by the Brahman ordinance - In the early hours of the morning of the 16thth day before the Sun rises – The widow must have a bath using turmeric powder – then dress in a sarie and she must adorn her Dot and glass bangles – The lamp must be lit and a kalsa of milk must be kept 3 widowed ladies are required to remove the Dot and to remove the bangles and then the Thaali from the neck of the widow – this is then placed in the kalsa of milk and later in the day it is released into the river of running water were the deceased's ashes was disposed [in the case of burial – it must be buried at the foot of the deceased's grave]. The widow must then take another bath and dress in a white sarie and white blouse and adorn her forehead with a white Ash dot. This is the ONLY time that the Thaali is allowed to be removed from the neck of a woman.
GURU DATCHANAI / DHAAN
To further ensure that the soul will be well provided for, we must be generous in the giving of the Guru Datchanai to the Brahmin who officiated all the prayers. Also prepare 2 small Dhaans which must be given to 2 poor families. All of this is for the comforts of the Soul on it's journey.
FOR THE BRAHMIN
Grocery Items[rice,dhall,beans,sugar,salt,tea,magarine,cooking oil,dry chillies,tamarind, 25 grams black yello,cake flour]
Vegetables [tomatoes,potatoes,onions etc]
Fruit
Milk
Reasonable Monetary Value as per your affordability
Brahmins travelling cost if he uses his own transport. [giving thought to distance travelled]
1 x Straw mat
1 x Pillow
1 x Bed Sheet
1 x Blanket or Duvet
1 x Stool to sit
1 pair Sandals
1 x Handkerchief
1 x towel
1 x shirt [plain white or plain colour]
1 x Dhothi with shawl
1 x Umbrella
1 x comb/hairbrush
1 x Bath Soap
1 x Pot
1 x Mug/glass
1 x Plate
1 x dessert spoon
1 x clay lamp
1 x matches
As you would see from the listed items these are the basic living needs of the Brahmin/priest, as he leads a simple life. The monetary value is for him to see to his family, medical needs and any need that requires payment.
When we give the Full Dhanum for Ceremonies of the persons that have passed away, this Dhanum is in spiritual form also for the use of the soul in its new heavenly abode. Note:If the deceased was a woman, also give 1 sarie, underskirt material, blouse material.
FOR THE POOR FAMILIES
The Dhanum must be placed in a tray/box – on the very top – place a beetle leaf, beetle nut, flower and a coin plus cash
Grocery Items[rice,dhall,beans,sugar,salt,tea,magarine,cooking oil,dry chillies,tamarind, 25 grams black yello,cake flour]
Vegetables [tomatoes,potatoes,onions,etc]
Fruit
Milk
Towel
THE 11TH MONTH ANNUAL CEREMONY
At the yearly anniversary of the death (according to the moon calendar), a priest conducts the shraddha rites in the home, offering pinda to the ancestors and yellum thaani – ie. To the deceased using Dharbar grass, beetle leaf, beetle nut, sesaemae seeds and water – this is offered in four directions as we do not know in which direction the Soul is residing.
Then a service is held and feeding of the people – At this prayer we do not light the 16 lamps.But once again a boat and lamp must be taken and left into the river for the final leg of the Souls Journey.
Once again we give the Guru Datchanai and Dhaan as we did for the 16th day Ceremony.
This concludes rituals for the deaceased – There is no prescription to do 5, 10, 20yrs etc prayers. By Choice one may remember their ancestors and offer thanks during Mahalay Patcham, Amavasaya and Pongal were prayer is offered to God and food is taken out in the name of the deceased – later it is mixed and fed to all present – also leaving a plate in the garden.
"AS WE REMEMBER THE DECEASED SO MUST WE REMEMBER THE LIVING – DO ALL THE BEST FOR THEM, LOVE, CARE AND SERVE FOR ONCE THEY ARE GONE – IT WILL BE TOO LATE FOR REGRETS – NEVER EVER TAKE LIFE AND PEOPLE FOR GRANTED – WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE THE FINAL JOURNEY AND WOULD WANT THAT TO BE WITH DIGNITY – LEAVE A LEGACY AND NOT BE FORGOTTEN"
NOTES OF UNDERSTANDING
Hindu Death Rituals
There is one thing that is certain in this lifetime: eventually we all must die. A belief in the cyclical reincarnation of the soul is one of the foundations of the Hindu religion. Death is viewed as a natural aspect of life, and there are numerous epic tales, sacred scriptures, and vedic guidance that describe the reason for death's existence, the rituals that should be performed surrounding it, and the many possible destinations of the soul after departure from its earthly existence. While the ultimate goal is to transcend the need to return to life on earth, all Hindus believe they will be reborn into a future that is based primarily on their past thoughts and actions.
The first mortal to meet his fate with Death was named Yama. This dubious honor makes him uniquely qualified to lead the way for others after death. The sacred scriptures of the Rig Veda, which call him King Yama, promise that all who have been good will receive "admission to Yama's paradise and the everlasting enjoyment of all the heavenly pleasures, include the restoration of a sick body, the maintaining of family relations and the highly desired apotheosis". Yama is aided by two killer guide dogs that are described as the "four-eyed keepers of the path, who watch over men." These "two dark messengers of Yama with flaring nostrils wander among men, thirsting for the breath of life". Yet, once they have secured their prey, they lead them back to their heavenly realm, where Yama directs them to their destiny.
Cremation is a ritual designed to do much more than dispose of the body; it is intended to release the soul from its earthly existence. Cremation compared to burial or outside disintegration is most spiritually beneficial to the departed soul. This is because the "astral body" will linger "as long as the physical body remains visible." If the body is not cremated, "the soul remains nearby for days or months"
The standard cremation ceremony begins with the ritual cleansing, dressing and adorning of the body. The body is then carried to the cremation ground as prayers are chanted to Yama, invoking his aid.
It is the chief mourner, usually the eldest son, who takes the twigs of holy kusha grass, flaming, from the havan eternal fire to the Body. He circumambulates the Body counterclockwise– for everything is backward at the time of death. As he walks round the Body, his sacred thread, which usually hangs from the left shoulder, has been reversed to hang from the right. He lights the Camphor placed on the body. The dead, now, is an offering to Agni, the fire. Here, as in the most ancient Vedic times, the fire conveys the offering to heaven. The Body is then inserted into the furnace.
After the cremation, the ashes are put into a river or the ocean, and the mourners walk away without looking back.
The death ritual does not end with the elimination of the body. There is still the safety of the soul to look after. To ensure the passage during its voyage to the Otherworld, a 15th day ritual called shraddha is performed. It "consist(s) of odd day offerings of rice balls, called pindas, which provide a symbolic, transitional body for the dead. During these days, the dead person makes the journey to the heavens, or the world of the ancestors, or the 'far shore.'" "On the sixtheen day, the departed soul is said to reach its destination and be joined with its ancestors, a fact expressed symbolically by joining a small pinda to a much larger one" Without these rites, the soul may never find it's way to Yama's realm.
Those who have been "meritorious," but have not quite attained liberation through Self-knowledge, are sent to a heavenly realm to await their fate. "There the Gandharvas (demigods of fertility) sing to them and the bevies of celestial nymphs dance for them." Since there is no need for punishment, "they go forth immediately on very high divine carriages. And when they get down from those carriages, they are born in the families of kings and other noble people." There they "maintain and protect their good conduct" and live out their days before they are reborn enjoying "the very best of pleasures".
The fate for those who have participated in less honorable thoughts or actions is far less pleasant. The Arthasastra, a Hindu textbook from the second century BCE, offers a detailed description of some of the more frightening realms of Anniyan. Yet before reaching these dangerous destinations, one must first endure a miserable journey. "The hard-hearted men of Yama, terrifying, foul-smelling, with hammers and maces in their hands" come to get the deceased, who tremble and begin to scream. Filled with terror and pain, the soul leaves the body. "Preceded by his vital wind, he takes on another body of the same form, a body born of his own karma in order for him to be tortured."
The evil man becomes born as an animal, among the worms, insects, moths, beasts of prey, mosquitoes, and so forth. There he is born in elephants, trees, and so forth, and in cows and horses, and in other wombs that are evil and painful. When he finally becomes a human, he is a despicable hunchback or dwarf, or he is born in the womb of a woman of some tribe of Untouchables. When there is none of his evil left, and he is filled with merit, then he starts climbing up to higher castes, Shudra, Vaishya, Kshatriya, and so forth, sometimes eventually reaching the stage of Brahmin or king of men. With so many unpleasant possibilities, it is easy to understand why reincarnation is not the only goal of every Hindu.
Those who lead a life of austerity, meditation and grace can look forward to the possibility of reaching Brahmaloka. This is the "highest among the heavenly planes" and the dwelling place of Brahma himself. "This is a place of intensely spiritual atmosphere, whose inhabitants live, free from disease, old age, and death, enjoying uninterrupted bliss in the companionship of the Deity." There is no need for them to return to earth because they have freed themselves "from all material desires." While they do experience a sense of individuality, they also experience a oneness with Brahma. This is the realm of immortality.
The Rituals and Process
Hindu death rituals in all traditions follow a fairly uniform pattern drawn from the Vedas, with variations according to sect, region, caste and family tradition. Most rites are fulfilled by the family, all of whom participate, including the children, who need not be shielded from the death. Certain rites are traditionally performed by a priest but may also be performed by the family if no priest is available. Here is a simple outline of rites that can be performed by Hindus in any locality. Variations are noted and suggestions made for Hindus in Western countries.
As Death Approaches
Traditionally, a Hindu dies at home. Nowadays the dying are increasingly kept in hospitals, even when recovery is clearly not possible. Knowing the merits of dying at home among loved ones, Hindus bring the ill home. When death is imminent, kindred are notified. The person is placed in his room, with the head facing east and he is urged to concentrate on his mantra. Kindred keep vigil until the great departure, singing Lord Shiva hymns, praying and reading scripture. If he cannot come home, this happens at the hospital, regardless of institutional objections.
The Moment of Death
If the dying person is unconscious at departure, a family member chants the mantra softly in the right ear, "Aum Nama Sivaya". (This is also done for sudden-death victims, in case of murder, suicide or death in a car accident.) Holy ash or sandal paste is applied to the forehead, Vedic verses are chanted, and a few drops of milk, Ganga or other holy water are trickled into the mouth. After death, the body is laid in the home's entryway, with the head facing south, on a make shift bed on the ground--reflecting a return to the lap of Mother Earth. The lamp is kept lit near the head and incense burned. The big toes are tied together. In a hospital, the family has the death certificate signed immediately and transports the body home. Under no circumstances should the body be embalmed or organs removed for use by others. Religious pictures are turned to the wall, and mirrors are covered. Relatives are beckoned to bid farewell and sing sacred songs at the side of the body. Lamp - in period of mourning part of the Lakshmi goes into darkness due to the loss - there is no prosperity at this time - Lamp is dotted on 16th day as we rejoice the unity of the soul with the ancestors. With immediate effect one must refrain from washing dishes and clothes and also must refrain from sweeping the house were the death occurred. One cannot cook and/or prepare meals in this home at this time – [the stove must not be switched on]
Only after cremation and burial can we clean house and cook as before this the house is full of the presence of the Saravanas - Angels hence we give attention only to the deceased and the saravanas as respect. After the funeral we can clean and cook.
Preparing the Body
The chief mourner now performs arati, passing an oil lamp over the remains, then offering flowers. The male (or female, depending on the gender of the deceased) relatives carry the body to the back porch, remove the clothes and drape it with a white cloth. (If there is no porch, the body can be sponge bathed and prepared where it is.) Each applies sesame oil, ground moong and seeka using a brush made at home with green grass from the forehead to the crown of the head, and the body is bathed, dressed, placed in a coffin and carried to the outside shelter. The young children, holding small lighted sticks, encircle the body, singing hymns [this is only done by the children and grand children of the deceased]. Three married women then perform a sandhanum nelungu for the deceased and the deceased wife and do an exchange of an open garland for the deceased and his wife [sanctifying the earthly physical separation of the couple] the widow will place her tali (wedding pendant) around her husband's neck, signifying her enduring tie to him. The Brother of the widow must present her with a white sari by placing it over her shoulders, she then proceeds to the house to bathe and change into the white sarie and removes her dot. The coffin is then closed after the final viewing. If unable to bring the body home, the family arranges to clean and dress it at the mortuary rather than leave these duties to strangers. The ritual homa fire is done at the crematorium.
Cremation
Only men go to the cremation site, led by the chief mourner. Two pots are carried: the clay kumbha and another containing a plain kichidi of rice. The pot of rice together with milk and fruits is placed by Harichandra [the grave digger] at the crematorium – The coffin is placed in front of Harichandra with the head facing Harichandra. The priest offers the Prasad to Harichandra and beckons him to accept the body for cremation. The body is carried into the cremation area. All circumambulating, and some arati, in the rites is counterclockwise. the cover is now removed. The deceased's brothers, brother-in-law and the eldest son who is doing the rites do a small Havan to agni for the final disposal of the body. With the clay pot on his left shoulder, the chief mourner circles the Coffin whilethe widow's brother holds the water pot on the mourner's left shoulder.. At each turn around the coffin, the widows brother knocks a hole in the pot with a knife, letting water out, signifying life's leaving its vessel. At the end of three turns, the chief mourner drops the pot. Then, without turning to face the body, he lights the body [assisted by the widows brother] and leaves the cremation grounds. The others follow. At a gas-fueled crematorium, sacred embers of the havan and ghee are placed inside the coffin with the body, before it is consigned to the flames. The cremation switch then is engaged by the operator.
Return Home; Ritual Impurity
Returning home, all bathe. A lamp and water pot are set where the body lay in state. The water is changed daily, and pictures remain turned to the wall. The shrine room is closed, with white cloth draping all icons. During these days of ritual impurity, family and close relatives do not visit others' homes, though neighbors and relatives bring daily meals to relieve the burdens during mourning. Neither do they attend festivals and temples, visit swamis, nor take part in marriage arrangements. Some observe this period up to one year. For the death of friends, teachers or students, observances are optional. While mourning is never suppressed or denied, scriptures admonish against excessive lamentation and encourage joyous release. The departed soul is acutely conscious of emotional forces directed at him. Prolonged grieving can hold him in earthly consciousness, inhibiting full transition to the heaven worlds. In Hindu Bali, it is shameful to cry for the dead.
Bone-Gathering Ceremony
About 1 1/2 hours after cremation, family men return to collect the remains. Water is sprinkled on the ash; the remains are collected on a large tray or in a clay pot. At crematoriums the family can arrange to personally gather the remains: ashes and small pieces of white bone called "flowers." In crematoriums these are ground to dust, and arrangements must be made to preserve them. Ashes are taken by the son or person who did the funeral rites for deposition in an auspicious river or the ocean, along with milk, garlands and flowers.
First Memorial
On the 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th, 11th,13th day, relatives gather for a prayer were a meal of the deceased's favorite foods is offered and a service is held singing thervarum songs and/or hymns of Lord Shiva. A portion of the food is offered to the soul by the chief mourner and the widow by placing this in the Garden with water and lighting camphor and offering aarthi. Customs for this period are varied. Some offer pinda (rice balls) daily for 13 days. Others combine all these offerings with the following sapindikarana rituals for a few days or one day of ceremonies.
15th and 16th Day Memorial
On the 15th day, a memorial service is held. At home, all thoroughly clean the house. A priest purifies the home, and performs the havan. !6th Lamps are lit [representing the 16 Saravanas – Angels] and a service is held and aarthi is turned to the photo of the deceased. On the 16th day the priest and the mourners [men only] go to the river or ocean were the priest makes a square box with sand and opens 4 entrances, charcoal [representing a foundation] is lined on the box and then brick dust [representing a building] is lined then the priest offers large pinda (representing the deceased) and three small, representing the father, grandfather and greatgrandfather in the centre of the box and 16 pindas around the borders of the box [for the 16 Saravanas – Angels]. The large ball is cut in three pieces and joined with the small pindas to ritually unite the soul with the ancestors in the next world. The pindas are fed to the birds or thrown in a river for the fish. Once the first sapindikarana is completed, the ritual impurity ends. Odd Monthly repetition is also common for 9 months with the yearly memorial service being done in the eleventh month.
One-Year Memorial
At the yearly anniversary of the death (according to the moon calendar), a priest conducts the shraddha rites in the home, offering pinda to the ancestors and yellum thaani – ie. To the deceased using Dharbar grass, beetle leaf, beetle nut, sesaemae seeds and water – this is offered in four directions as we do not know in which direction the Soul is residing.
Hindu funeral rites can be simple or exceedingly complex. These nine steps, devotedly completed according to the Tamil customs, means, and ability of the family, will properly conclude one earthly sojourn of any Hindu soul.
From a spiritual perspective what is the best colour of clothes to wear to a funeral?
From a spiritual perspective, any sober colour other than black can be worn by relatives and well-wishers in the event of the death of a person. It is preferable to wear lighter colours such as white and pale blue as they are more sāttvik. Wearing black attire is common in many societies and cultures, however from a spiritual perspective it is most likely to be detrimental to both the family and the person who has passed away.
Since the colour black is tāmasik in nature, it has maximum capacity to attract and transmit negative and distressing frequencies in the environment, i.e. to the extent of 70%. This means, out of all the possible negative vibrations (ghosts included) that there can be in the environment, the colour black can attract up to 70% of them.
Along with this, the surviving relatives who are mourning are generally in a depressed state, also adds to the Raja-Tama frequencies in the environment.
The combination of these two factors makes it conducive for ghosts to possess the mourner through the medium of his black clothing and weakened emotional state. As a result, the overall increase in Raja-Tama also affects the subtle-body of the deceased, increases its distress and impedes its onward journey in the afterlife.
On the other hand, wearing white coloured clothes for funeral repels the Raja-Tama frequencies and attracts sattvik frequencies. This makes it less conducive for ghosts to possess mourners and give the subtle-body of the deceased any distress.
The continued wearing of black throughout the period of mourning only makes matters worse and also prolongs the state of depression. The negative vibrations of black continue to retard the progress of ancestors and aid the activity of ghosts.
The subtle-bodies of the deceased ancestors, who cannot move forward in their journey in the subtle-realm, stay in their family's homes. They can cause problems for the surviving members of their family. The problems that they cause are a plea for spiritual assistance to help them move on in the afterlife.
The Legend of Harishchandra
It is said that the great sage Vishwamitra once approached Harishchandra and informed him of a promise made by the king during the sage's dream to donate his entire kingdom. Harishchandra was so virtuous that he immediately made good his word and donated his entire kingdom to the sage and walked away with his wife and son.
Since the entire world was under the sage after he donated his kingdom, the king had to go to Varanasi, a holy town dedicated to Lord Shiva. This was now the only place outside the influence of the sage. But the sage proclaimed that for an act of donation to be completed, an additional amount as Dakshina (honorarium) had to be paid. Harishchandra, with no money in his hands, had to sell his wife and son to a Brahmin Grihastha to pay for the Dakshina. When the money collected still did not suffice for the purpose, he sold himself to a guard at the cremation ground, who was in charge of collecting taxes for the bodies to be cremated.
The king, his wife and son had to sustain tremendous hardships doing their respective chores. The king helped the guard cremate the dead bodies, while his wife and son were used as household helpers at the house of the Brahmin. Once, the son had been to the garden to pluck flowers for his master's prayer, when he was bitten by a snake and died instantly. His mother, having nobody to sympathise for her, carried his body to the cremation grounds. In acute penury, she could not even pay the taxes needed to cremate him. Harishchandra did not recognise his wife and son. He asked the lady to sell her golden mangalasutra and pay the tax. It is at this instance that his wife recognises the man as her husband. She has a boon that her husband only could see her mangalasutra. Harishchandra then came to her and recognised her as his wife and was stung by pangs of agony.
Raja Ravi Varma, Harischandra and Tharamathi
But, Harishchandra, was dutybound by his job to perform the cremation only after the acceptance of the tax. So, he asked his wife if she was willing to undergo further hardships and stand by him in this hour of calamity. The faithful wife readily gave assent. She had in her possession only a saree, a part of which was used to cover the dead body of her son. She offers half of her lone dress as the tax, which Harishchandra could accept and perform the last rites of his son. When she proceeded to remove her dress, miracles happened.
Lord Vishnu, Indra and all Devas and the sage Vishwamitra himself manifested themselves on the scene, and praised Harishchandra for his perseverance and steadfastness. They brought his son back to life. They also offered the king and his wife instant places in heaven. Harishchandra refused, stating that he was bound to his master, the guard. The Devas then reveal that the guard was none other thanYama. He again refused, saying that he cannot leave behind his subjects, by Kshatriya Dharma. He asked for a place in heaven for all his subjects. But the gods refused, explaining that the subjects had their own Karma and they have to undergo them. The king was then ready to forego all his virtues and religiousness for his people, so that they could ascend to heaven leaving him behind. The gods, now immensely pleased with the unassailable character of the great king, offered heavenly abode to the king, the queen and all their subjects. The sage Vishwamitra helped to populate the kingdom again and installed Harishchandra's son as the king.
WHY CREMATION?
Material: It is best to use a plain earthenware urn for collecting and storing ashes. The urn should not be of any other material such as ceramic, glass, porcelain etc. The earthenware urn when immersed in water dissolves completely into the water and thus causes no or minimal pollution. It also is high in the Absolute Earth Principle. The ashes are also predominantly made up of the Absolute Earth Principle. As both belong to the same Absolute Cosmic Principle their frequencies do not clash. Hence it is beneficial to use earthenware urns.
After the body is cremated, immersion of the ashes in water is spiritually the best way of disposing of the ashes. The reasons for this are as follows:
It is easier for ghosts (demons, devils, negative energies, etc.) to gain control of the ashes and the subtle body and misuse it. This is especially so when they find the ashes all together in one place in the ground. By immersing the ashes in water, they are dispersed and hence unavailable to the ghosts in a collected form to gain control of.
As water is all-assimilating, it imbibes the distressing vibrations remaining from the dead body in the ashes and the other Absolute Cosmic Principles (Panchamahābhūtās) related to the subtle body like Absolute Earth (Pruthvī), Fire (Tēj), Air (Vāyu) element etc. This helps to break the remaining attachment of the subtle body to its gross body (sthūladēha) on the Earth region (Bhūlok). As a result, the probability of the subtle body getting stuck in the Earth region as well as that of being attacked by ghosts is dramatically reduced.
The demerits (sins) of the person add to the subtle basic Raja-Tama frequencies of the ashes. By scattering the ashes of the deceased in the water, the demerits i.e. the Raja-Tama frequencies related to the demerits are washed into the water.
Sea water is the best for disposal of ashes. This is because sea water has the maximum all-assimilating property among all types of waters. Amongst other waters, holy rivers are the best. Holy rivers are those rivers whose waters have a very high content of subtle basic Sattvacomponent. For example, in rivers like the Ganges in India the subtle basic Sattva component is high despite the water being heavily polluted. In general, flowing water is the best as it scatters the ashes thus making it near impossible for the ghosts to gain control on the subtle body through the ashes.
4.1.1 What should one do with the urn after immersing the ashes in the sea?
As the ashes are collected in the urn, the urn gets charged with the vibrations in the ashes. Keeping the urn or using it later can give rise to distress because of the distressing frequencies associated with most ashes as explained above. Hence it is best to immerse the urn in water along with the ashes.
What are the Absolute Cosmic Principles?
All creation is made up of five Absolute Cosmic Elements or Absolute Cosmic Principles (Panchatattva).
They are:
1. The Absolute Earth element or Absolute Earth Principle (Pruthvītattva).
2. The Absolute Water element or Absolute Water Principle (Āpatattva).
3. The Absolute Fire element or Absolute Fire Principle (Tējtattva).
4. The Absolute Air element or Absolute Air Principle (Vāyutattva).
5. The Absolute Ether element or Absolute Ether Principle (Ākāshtattva).
Disposing belongings of the deceased
After a loved one dies, many people are unsure what they should do with their belongings. At a principle level, we can keep a few things in mind. The actions we take with regards to belongings of ancestors need to help them reduce their attachments and help them move on in their afterlife.
The vibrations of the dead person remain in their belongings that they leave behind. Death of a person means an increase in subtle basic Tama component in the environment. If there was an associated illness leading to death, the subtle basic tama component is further accentuated. In addition to this, if the person was suffering distress by ghosts (demons, devils, negative energies, etc.) before, at the time of death or after, the person using the dead person's belongings is likely to suffer a corresponding amount of distress.
The following are some of the things one can do after a relative has died to help the dead person break his attachment to his belongings and to protect oneself from the distressing effect of the subtle basicTama frequencies emanating from the belongings.
It is best to burn the clothes worn by the person at the time of his death and at the time of his cremation/burial as they are affected the most by the distressing subtle basic Tama frequencies. The ashes can be immersed in the sea.
Sprinkle holy water (i.e. water plus holy ash) all over the dead person's room. This will help to reduce the tama component that is generated in the atmosphere at the time of death.
The whole family can chant the spiritual chant of 'Shrī Gurudev Datta'. The chant can also be played continuously at low volume in the dead person's room. By continuously playing the chant of 'Shri Gurudeva Datta' for about a year, the premises are purified and the subtle body of the departed relative also gains momentum in its onward journey in the afterlife.
For items where the dead person was very attached to, it is best to give them to a deserving spiritual organisation. As it is given to deserving spiritual organisations, the resolve of God becomes functional. The vibrations of the dead person in his belongings are destroyed and the subtle body gains momentum in its journey after death. This is because merits are accrued due to this donation to the deserving. By 'deserving', we mean those organisations that help people realise their true spiritual purpose in life.
For items that the dead person was not much attached to, family members may use them after a period of one year by which time the vibrations of the dead person would have been removed due to the purification by the spiritual chant.
Pictures of the departed ancestors should be taken down in the house. Having the pictures of dead relatives in the house fuels their attachment for their previous Earthly life and their previous family. This in turn impedes their progress in their onward spiritual journey. In some cases it makes the departed ancestor Earthbound in their home.
If a will has been drawn out by the dead person it should be honoured so that his wishes do not remain unfulfilled.
The importance of putting the above steps into practice is that this is one of the deciding factors in the departed ancestor moving on or getting stuck in the Earth region. For our own complete protection, regular spiritual practice that pertains to the six basic principles in spiritual practice is suggested.
PREPARED BY : ROY PILLAY
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