Divorce

James. E. Emmanuel. Ethics a Biblical Perspective, Bangalore: Theological Book Trust, 1992. P 305.
Kanel. Kristi. A Guide to Crisis Intervention, Canada: Marcus Boggs, 2003.
Grenz. J. Stanley, Sexual Ethics, An Evangelical Perspective, Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1990. P 118.
Ewald. R. George, Jesus and divorce, Scottdale: Herald press,1991. P 13.
Ibid., P 22.
Ibid., P 13.
Ibid., P 17.
Grenz. J. Stanley, Sexual Ethics, An Evangelical Perspective, Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1990. P 123.
Ibid., P.125.
Ibid., 126.
Ibid., 126.
Ibid., 127.
Joseph. Antony. "Divorce in Christian families in India – a social and theological analysis" Thiruvalla:
Ibid., P 15-16
Patil Anu. "Marital Conflicts: Intervention through Neuro Linguistic Programming", The Indian Journal of Social Work, Volume 64, issue 2, (April 2009): 203.
Joseph. Antony. "Divorce in Christian families in India – a social and theological analysis" Thiruvalla:
pothen, s. paul. Divorce and its implications to Indian women, Hyderabad: Adams Publications, 2003. P. 72

Patil Anu. "Marital Conflicts: Intervention through Neuro Linguistic Programming", The Indian Journal of Social Work, Volume 64, issue 2, (April 2009): 203.
Heth, A. William, Jesus and divorce, Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publications, 1984, P. 104.
Madam, G. R. Indian social problems, social disorganization and reconstruction [Vol. II], Allied Publications. Ltd., New Delhi, 1967, P. 158.

Ibid., 158
Divorce
Introduction
For Ages, the institutions of marriage and family have been the pillars of the basic structure on which the very edifice of society and nations are built. It is through these institutions that an individual's physical and social needs are met and his/her growth enhancement occurs. In turn, the individuals and families take responsibilities for the care of children and elders and give a socio-economic status to its members and thus contribute to the societies and nation's development. Industrialization, technological development, urbanization, new knowledge and thinking, penetration of new culture etc has disturbed the balance of the families and therefore the subsequent adjustments and adaptations have become very stressful to the members. Once it is out of balance the problem starts and ends up in divorce. Marriage is more than a formal legal contract and it carries theological significance too. This assignment is an attempt to explain Divorce from a theological perspective and to find possible remedies and suggestions to overcome this social evil.
Marriage
A primary understanding about marriage is essential in this stage to know all about divorce. Marriage is a way of cementing relationship between a man and a woman. This relation is meant to last for a life time and is divinely ordained by God. When this relationship breaks down in some point of life, people tends to get divorced.
Divorce
Definition
Divorce is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse, which can be contrasted with an annulment, which is a declaration that a marriage is void, though the effects of marriage may be recognized in such unions, such as spousal support, child custody and distribution of property.
Divorce in Christian Families
Christians too, are not spared of this deadly evil. But even to those drawn into this snare of the evil one, there is hope and consolation in Jesus Christ. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ came into this world to save sinners and to destroy the works of the devil. He accomplished it on the cross of Calvary and brought victory for the whole of Mankind. The problems in Christian families of this century are not economical, but ethical and spiritual. Young people reject Christianity and also God's ordained lawful means of preserving the family. God is not in their hearts. But man was created for a much higher level of existence than animals, inasmuch as he was created for a communion with God. According to Christian faith, marriage is instituted by God and sanctified by Christ Jesus. The Word of God says, "whom God hath joined let not man put asunder [Matt.19: 6; Mk.10: 8, 9]. Therefore divorce in Christianity is against the will of God. The sexual revolution with its premarital sex, pornography, adultery, homosexuality and easy no-fault divorce has left in its wake a number of broken-homes, untold heartaches, suicides, abortions and poverty.
The break up of families and the problems associated with marital discord have not been without a response. Hundreds and thousands of books, videos and seminars by psychologists have come into fray that deal with having a happy family life, but mostly all of them are contrary to Biblical doctrines and Christian faith.



Historical Overview
In the patriarchal society of the Hebrews, divorce was primarily an option for the husband, so that the possibility of the instigating divorce was virtually unheard of. And divorce, although carrying legal sanction never enjoyed widespread acceptance within the community itself. By contrast, divorce was frequent in the Greek and the Roman societies of the late ancient period. Yet the practice was largely an indulgence of the attitudes of the upper class and apparently did not become common among the masses. Many people viewed marriage and family stability as very important. In early Christian community the church taught a high view on marriage, and divorce was rare among Christians. This attitude was carried over into the wider society when Christianity came to be the dominant cultural influence. Until the enlightenment divorce was not common and in the twentieth century the attitude concerning marriage begun to change.
The Pre-Mosaic Patriarchal Right to divorce
The right for the husband to divorce his wife if "he finds something objectionable about her" (Deut 24:1) was pre-mosaic. This patriarchal right to divorce derived from the total authority of the husband in his own home from time immemorial. Both the laws of Eshnunna and the code of Hammurabi were before Moses' time and make reference to laws regulating the existing divorce practice. There is no doubt that the followers of Hillel in Jesus' day and Jewish man for many centuries had assumed that mosses' blessing rested upon the giving of the divorce but if the wife failed to please her husband. In the process of time, because the patriarchal right to divorce had been incorporated into the Deuteronomic Code, Jewish commentators came to accept the practice as though sanctioned by Moses. It therefore became part of the build-up of oral Law surrounding the Mosaic Law.

Old Testament View on Divorce
Polygamy and divorce were both accepted in ancient near eastern society prior to the founding of the Jewish nation or the writings of the Hebrew Scriptures. The Old Testament laws do not establish polygamy or divorce. Instead they regulate those practices to protect the individual who may be abused by unkind treatment.
In the Old Testament, Kings often have large harems. Monogamy is the prevailing form of marriage for other people. Yet it is taken for granted that a man may have two wives, or a wife and a concubine, especially if the first partner does not conceives enough children. On one hand it helps to fulfill the command to multiply and to fill the earth. But in the other hand, it demonstrates the power of the male over the female and provides many occasion for marital unhappiness and abuse of the wife caught in the system. Polygamy is frequently the indirect cause of turmoil, stress and the breakdown of God's highest intensions of marriage as expressed in Genesis 2:24, where a husband clings to his wife and they become one flesh. Marriage is extolled in the writing of Judaism. God forms the first couples (Gen. 1:27; 2:24), and that relationship is meant to be characterized by fidelity (Prov. 5:18-23). The Decalogue says, 'You shall not commit adultery' (Ex. 20:14). Monogamy is the most common arrangement, though polygamy is evidence in earlier Judaism if one could afford it. However, by Christian ere, monogamy is virtually the only form of marriage in Judaism.
Divorce in the Old Testament centers around two basic assertions. On the one hand, the foundation for the way in which the Hebrew community came to deal with divorce lay in the Genesis creation accounts. These stories express the intent of God in terms of the permanent relationship between husband and wife. Beginning with Genesis, the Old Testament clearly

articulates a marital ideal, and this ideal includes neither unfaithfulness nor divorce. On the other hand, in addition to the ideal, Torah includes the practical, legalization of divorce. It was a reality among the ancient Hebrews. As a result divorce was institutionalized and codified in the Law. But when Jesus encounter with scribes indicates, the legalization of divorce ought not to be interpreted as a license rather it was an attempt to assist women, whose status in the patriarchal society was jeopardized by the loose way in which divorce was practiced. In short, the Old Testament taught that marriage was intended to be permanent, covenantal relationship between a man, who was to protect and provide for his wife, and a woman, who was to remain monogamous to her husband.
New Testament View on Divorce
The New Testament was written in the context of an era in which divorce was rapidly practiced. In contrast to the attitudes widespread in the Greco- Roman world, however, the early church emphasized the permanency of marriage and viewed divorce as being contrary to the divine will. Two texts stand out as most significant in forming the basis of the position of the early church.
Jesus and Divorce
The first one is Jesus' view of divorce (Matt 19:1-9 and 5:31-32). The most explicit Gospel text concerning Jesus' view on divorce is Matt 19:1-9. His statement occurs in the midst of discussion of the subject with the Jewish religious leaders, who themselves may have been divided on the issue as to what constituted the proper grounds of divorce. Jesus' response had three features which are of much significance.
Jesus placed the discussion of divorce within the context of Genesis. IN keeping the creation story, he reaffirmed that the divine intention entails the permanency of marriage. Rather than siding with either of the two options advocated by his rabbinical contemporaries, he avoided sanctioning divorce under any circumstances. Jesus elevated God's ideal indicating thereby that divorce always and in all circumstances constitutes a departure from that ideal.
In contrast to the parallel text in Mark and keeping with the statement in the Sermon on the Mount, the Matthew account includes what appears to be one acceptable basis of divorce, namely adultery. This addition has led some exegetes to assert that Jesus put forth adultery as proper grounds for terminating marriage. Such an understanding, however, contradicts the tenor of the Jesus-word in the text. God's design is for permanency of marriage. Even in the case of adultery, therefore, the divine intention has been violated when the couple divorces. Even in adulterous situation divorce remains as sin. It might occur as a declaration of an irreparable destruction of marital bond, but divorce can never be viewed as sanctioned by divine law, whether that is the law of mosses or the law of Jesus.
The intent of Jesus teaching on divorce does offer a marked break with Jewish thought at one significant point. He overturned the double standard. Jesus set forth the same requirements for both the sexes, placing man and woman equally under the double law of love and thereby affirming the fidelity of both husband and wife.
Paul and Divorce
Paul shared with Jesus an abhorrence for divorce as being contrary to the divine intent (1 Cor. 7). In the text as a whole the apostle's chief goal is to encourage Christians to remain in whatever social situation they find themselves (v. 17). As an outworking of this principle the married should remain married and the unmarried should consider remaining single.


Causes of Divorce
The Bible says, "God hates divorce" (Mal.2:16). All the causes of divorce cannot be explained as it many. Few which is considered as important is listed below:
Money: The Bible says that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. (I Timothy 6:10) Just two verses earlier, we also read, "Having food and raiment, let us be therewith content". Paul warns that uncontrolled desire for money will lead to a temptation, a snare and into many and foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition, and pierce themselves through with many sorrows. And then he warns, "Oh man of God, flee these things" I Timothy 6:11. Money is the number one cause of broken homes.
Alcohol: There is a popular sign that reads: Alcohol Destroys Internally, Externally, and Eternally. Alcohol is considered as one of the most important factor that leads families into destruction.
Sexual problems: The sex pendulum is swung from one extreme to the other. We talk as freely of sex as we talk of politics. Improper attitudes about sex, and not physical causes, bring couples to the breaking point. Both those who regard sex as being acceptable outside of marriage, as well as those who think of sex as dirty and wrong within marriage, are equally guilty of maintaining attitudes which are destined to cause serious trouble to any family relationship.
Immaturity: Married life is for adults, not for children. Immaturity is the fourth leading cause of broken homes. There is an age when we are not sure about anything. A toy may be ever so much fun one day, and discarded the next. Much of this same uncertainty goes with the person through adolescence with regard to marriage.
Jealousy: One who demands exclusive devotion, and is intolerant of rivalry usually feels inadequate. If one finds himself caught in the clutches of this weakness, he needs to concentrate on self-improvement.
Myths about marriage: It's based on the artificial and often unrealistic picture of love and life as depicted by many motion picture films. Other myths like marriage brings luck, If you don't feel fulfilled, your marriage is at fault, marriage will make you full and complete, marriage without a male child or no child is meaningless and so on are believed by the couples and lead them to grave conflicts, which can really upset the marriage as a whole.
In-law's: "Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife. And they shall be one flesh." These are God's words in Genesis Chapter 2, verse 24. Every couple should establish their own home away from parents. Should this not remove the interference then move so far away that contact with in-laws is limited. Problems will arise, differences will sometime seem impossible. But divorce is not the answer.
Irresponsibility: When a young man is irresponsible and unwilling to work before marriage, the chances are extremely good that he'll continue the same pattern of behavior after marriage. In the same way the young lady who has shown no sense of personal responsibility before marriage will likely also be unwilling to do her part in containing the home after marriage. The best way to avoid divorce then, is by avoiding the situations that lead to it.
Pre-marital Sex: In this case, one of the spouses might have had a previous relationship or an affair, and he/she may share this with the other partner sooner or later in their wedded life. This often leads to doubts with the other partner being unable to forgive, causing their marriage to break up.

Extra-marital Relationship: Sometimes, even after marriage, certain people continue with their wrong relationships outside of marriage which normally, cause heart-breaks, eventually leading to a break up of their family.
Problems of dowry: This is a problem that is widely seen in India. The demands for dowry are very high in certain marriages. When the demands are not met within the stipulated time, the bride and her family are constantly troubled. This has become a nightmare for many young girls of this generation. Some commit suicide, where as others are even burnt to death by their in-laws and relatives. Late marriages also happen due to this.
Theological Understanding of Divorce
The Bible in both the Old and New Testaments views divorce as contrary to the divine intent. The context for the development of a theological understanding of divorce must be the understanding of human sexuality. We are created sexual beings, and our sexuality forms the basis for the drive toward human bonding, one expression of which is marriage. The marriage bond is formed by covenant, namely, the covenant between husband and wife, which therefore lies at the foundation of the marital union. As a result, the drive toward bonding implicit in human sexuality carries theological importance. God's intent for marriage is connected with the divine will to establish community with humans and among humans. The human community God intends to be established in marriage is to be characterized by a permanent bond and by covenant fidelity. In this way marriage serves as a reflection of an important aspect of the divine reality, namely, the exclusive nature of the relationship God seeks to establish with human beings. When we look at divorce from this context, it is not an abrupt termination of a marriage but it is the final statement concerning the process whereby the marital bond has been violated. And it is the declaration of failure and sin.
Sociological Understanding on Divorce
Divorce is the legal ending of a marriage. The laws of most nations permit divorce only under certain circumstances. Divorce is restricted chiefly because it breaks up a family, the basic unit of society. Most men and women, who seek a divorce, do so, because they are unable to solve certain problems in their marriage. Such problems may include difference in goals, financial difficulties or a poor sexual relationship.
Divorce often affects young children deeply. But many experts believe that living with one parent is less harmful to a child, than living with both the parents in an unhappy environment. Many divorced men and women remarry, and many such marriages are successful. However, second marriages create special problems of adjustment, especially for couples who have children from their former marriages.
Modern divorce laws have developed from the religious rules of the society concerned. Sometimes the spouses are expected to receive counseling before the divorce procedures, to see whether reconciliation can be achieved. In many countries, the courts dealing with divorce have been renamed 'family courts', and deal with all the proceedings related to marriage, children and family issues. In India, a good majority follows the Hindu religion, which traditionally does not allow divorce. But since 1956, there has been a law which governs divorce for Hindu. The other religious groups such as


Christian, Muslim and the Sikh communities are governed by their personal religious laws. There is also a secular law governing divorce.
Evaluation and Biblical Response
Evaluation
God hates divorce [Mal.2:16], and so do I! And so do those Christians who have been divorced. If ever I would come across a person contemplating divorce in order to end his stormy marriage, my first words to him would be "DON'T". "Don't go in for a divorce if there is a little spark of love left for your mate. Rebuild on that love and work to rekindle that love into a real flame". Though divorce is painful and tragic, it can ultimately lead to a rebirth of an individual, a new relationship with Christ, a closer walk with Christ, leaning on Him for support, strength and direction, rediscovering a new meaning for life and personal growth.
Many families can receive help in some of their problems by consulting a trained family counselor, a social worker, a clergy or a psychologist. Many of these trained professionals use a method called family therapy. They meet with the entire family as a group, to help them work out their problems together. Various public welfare agencies offer guidance and economic aid. Other organizations approach family members who have a specific problem. There are also groups to help runaway children or battered children and wives.
Many people tend to view family as a separate unit from society. They think that all family problems can be solved by dealing with issues within the family. They fail to realize that family is a part of society and that society influences one's family life. Such social problems as drugs, poor housing and unemployment directly affect a family.
Increasingly, sociologists are finding out that alcoholism, child abuse, runaway children, unhappy marriages and certain family problems are related to society. They believe that such problems can be reduced by dealing with the social conditions that help promote them. For instance, programs that create new jobs, improve housing, or restrict drug trafficking help support family life. With the existence of such programs, the family is no longer solely responsible for overcoming all the social evils that affect it.
Biblical Response
Marriage is God's holy ordinance, which is a lifelong commitment. This relationship should be respected and honored by all. These days it has lost its divine meaning of love, and divorce has become a prestigious issue of society. It is one of the modern phenomena, which misleads families to break up. In this crucial time of crisis, the church can take necessary steps to reinstate the family relationships.
The church could extend help by offering to teach on marital harmony and permanence of marital relationships. The pastor or the elder of the church can teach the youth about the value of family life and fellowship. They can conduct Bible classes to make the youth aware of the biblical aspects and also the common aspects of marriage. The youth should also be given an insight into the biblical aspects of purity of life and also be taught to live as examples in their generation and to the ones' following them. Bible classes could be divided according to age and sex of the students, as moral values can be taught without hurting the feelings of the young students. Church seminars teach the importance of marital life and the value of permanence of marriage. The Holy Bible is the most essential resource in any Christian counseling. Counseling before marriage helps young people to have a stable and satisfactory marital relationship. Premarital-counseling is an opportunity for the pastor or the counselor to build an in-depth, continuous relationship with the couple.


Church can play a vital role in restoring family relationships. Most of the people tend to seek pastoral guidance, for sorting most of the matters pertaining to their life and other needs. So pastors must be aware of every family situation. Church can play a major role in mending wrecked families. Pastors are required to visit every home regularly and pray for them. Even small misunderstandings or differences within the family should not be ignored. It should be dealt with the moment it sparks up.
Conclusion
Love should be learned as a process, in terms of being loved and to love, in the same way one learns to play a musical instrument. Love is an art to be practiced, requiring discipline, concentration, patience and supreme concern. The moral catastrophe that is experienced today, with the breakup of so many marriages, can be changed if there is willingness to repent of the sinful attitudes and sexual misconduct, and to return to Biblical standards of morality. In Corinthians 13, Paul launches into a comprehensive discussion on the nature of love. It is 'agape' love that Paul is talking about. It is God's kind of love. Couples who aspire to abiding joy in marriage, a marriage that will not end in a divorce, must have 'agape'.
Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices when truth wins. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him, no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, and always stand your ground in defending him. "……..love goes on forever" [1 Cor.13:4-8].

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Bibliography

Ewald. R. George, Jesus and divorce, Scottdale: Herald press,1991.
Grenz. J. Stanley, Sexual Ethics, An Evangelical Perspective, Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1990.
Heth, A. William, Jesus and divorce, Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publications, 1984.
James. E. Emmanuel. Ethics a Biblical Perspective, Bangalore: Theological Book Trust, 1992.

Joseph. Antony. "Divorce in Christian families in India – a social and theological analysis" Thiruvalla:
Kanel. Kristi. A Guide to Crisis Intervention, Canada: Marcus Boggs, 2003.
Madam, G. R. Indian social problems, social disorganization and reconstruction [Vol. II], Allied Publications. Ltd., New Delhi, 1967, P. 158.
Patil Anu. "Marital Conflicts: Intervention through Neuro Linguistic Programming", The Indian Journal of Social Work, Volume 64, issue 2, (April 2009).
Pothen, S. Paul. Divorce and its implications to Indian women, Hyderabad: Adams Publications, 2003.



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